May 2013
pontmercyanide:
some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.
and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about
and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”
she meant henry david thoreau.
i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend
corywho:
celeryandhummus:
our kids will probably attend a middle school dance where the theme is the 2010’s
they’ll wear leggings with ugg boots and twerk to “call me maybe”
i just spit my food onto my keyboard
cherrycaked:
there’s an episode of sabrina the teenage witch where everything turns into the 60s and at first she’s like wow this is so groovy the music is awesome and everyone is into peace and love why even change back, but then she talks to a university representative but he laughs in her face and says she can’t go to his prestigious college because she’s a woman and then she realises that...
nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:
fake-mermaid:
how are we almost in june i swear we were in march 2 days ago
let’s be real when did it stop being 2007
isurvivedthekobayashimaru:
I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him...
daveterezi:
sleepingwithveiledmice:
harlequin-nepeta:
sylph-of-twerk:
harlequin-nepeta:
harlequin-nepeta:
harlequin-nepeta:
harlequin-nepeta:
what if tumblr was red
wait i made more
my 3666th post is a tumblr hemospectrum
mutant tumblr
oh my god
this makes me uncomfortable
I WAS GOING CRAZY BECAUSE THERE WASNT ONE FOR VRISKA.
And then I realised...
featheredxwings:
featheredxwings:
Person: if someone rapes a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting?
Me: if I stab you in the chest is it murder or a service to humanity?
Hint: it’s not the first one
unironically-ironic:
hanadoodles:
Why aren’t seadwellers known as the aristocrasea
You’re my new favorite person on the internet
morningemu:
jimmyjamjimjohn:
rubywhiterabbit:
One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.
DON’T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT
“Male privilege is “I have a boyfriend” being the only thing that can actually...”
– The Sociological Cinema
There was actually research that was done that found that women who used an “I have a boyfriend/husband” excuse to reject unwanted sexual attention and harassment by their bosses were more likely to be left alone than those who used any other excuse (including “I’m not...
dickrockerjanecrocker:
thirstingaintdead:
sociolab:
Do you ever think about the fact that the US has created and legitimized a system of institutionalized inequality by funding schools through property taxes? That basically a child’s education is only as good as the value of the property in their neighborhood. Funny how education is so often viewed as an equalizing factor when there is...
devourer-of-gods:
shade-shypervert:
askstrikertheskeletonhunter:
What if the real world could lag
Stop that. That’s terrifying.
watchtheskytonight:
richard-sp8-jr:
in first period a girl got dress coded for wearing a tank top with a jacket over it and this scrawny little boy stood up and yelled “OH MY GOD SHE HAS SKIN THE SKIN IS TOO MUCH FOR ME HER SHOULDERS ARE BEAUTIFUL THIS IS TOO MUCH” and the teacher got so annoyed with him that she didn’t get to dress coding her
that boy is of the future
phantom-quantum:
iwilleatyourenglish:
iwilleatyourenglish:
once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please...
craplos:
ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
equisollux:
zombiecthulu:
basedkuroko:
my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE
the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone
I bet he’s on Tumblr
I am
5%bad hair, 95%terrible dance moves: shutupmerlin:... →
shutupmerlin:
My grandmother grew up in this tiny village in Barbados, and she was the only kid in the village to have a cricket bat. She used to play with all the boys, but then they started stealing the bat every time she bought it out of the house and saying that she couldn’t play…
trapghoul:
the fact that women’s healthcare seems to be a joke among men is sickening.
lance armstrong loses a testicle and everyone’s like “oh man must have been so hard for him poor guy losing his manhood LIVESTRONG” and angelina jolie gets the jokes after her mother died from cancer and she’s trying to protect herself????
emilioestevez:
story time
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
purrawontblink:
okay too cute not to do
porrim:
daily reminder that you can get through the week!! tomorrow is thursday! and friday is the day after that. you’re almost there! ＼( ｀.∀´)／ you’re strong and smart and you can do it!!
